9:13 PM American Time

Smarter than You Think

My niece is three. She can, from the evidence, open a drawer and the box inside it. She can fish out a set of ultrasound pictures of my ovaries-taken a year ago at a Kuwaiti hospital-then leave them on a shelf in the bathroom.
Those ultrasound photos cost me precisely 3.450KD (KD work on a 1000 cent system). The cyst that shows up on those photos has grown and is kinda stabby all the time. With insurance the first-insurance recommended provider-ultrasound in the USA cost me at least $900 (274.186 KWD). There are still more bills to be delivered. My insurer paid their own chunk prior to my receiving these bills. Without question, I had reasonably good insurance in Kuwait. I have better insurance in the USA than most academics I know.

I see where the latest proposed healthcare bill  before the US congress is going. I see the health-insurance marriages, the cancer-cost struck divorces, the preventable but too costly deaths by disease. I see my inability to support my father and his wife when their medicare funded jobs disappear. They both work with the elderly, the poor, and the dying.

I see my own asthmatic future sans healthcare. And I am left to wonder why anyone-especially me- wouldn’t leave America for health insurance elsewhere.

2:41 PM, American Time


1987, Lasley Elementary, Lakewood, Colorado

In the forth grade, we studied Colorado history. That along with┬áthe US history taught across all grades was meant to make us good citizens. We were taught about the welcome we received when our families moved westward to make America. Washed-over with these notions of land’s and country’s and Manifest Destiny’s crimes against humanity.

That same year, my mother’s friend Elizabeth was returning to Ethiopia and leaving behind her undocumented status.So at her behest, Mom pulled my sister and I out of school to eat a traditional meal cooked by Elizabeth.This I recall was a thank you for the help my mother had extended to Elizabeth in the year previous. I can still taste that food.

Somewhere in those two events, I learned that America meant welcome to all immigrants. I learned that Colorado called to immigrants as a place where a safe wonderful life could be made.

One of my Kuwaiti students sent me a message this week. She said she hoped we would meet again. Every ┬ápart of my belief of what America should be (I’m too old to think it ever has been) made me want to extend my hand, to say, “Come visit my country. You a welcome here.”But I stopped. Instead, I had to tell myself the truth. I said, “We will find a way to meet again. I would be joyful to meet you here in my country, but America is not safe for you. Take care of your body and your heart. We will meet again in better days.”

My fourth grade teacher was the daughter of immigrants. For a few weeks in early Spring, she taught an early morning Greek class for us. More than once that year, our classmates were immigrants; we extended welcome to them. I thought that was what citizenship meant. I thought it meant that we welcomed everyone the visitors, those working toward citizenship, those fleeing. I am sorry my country makes you-humans, citizens, documented, undocumented, joyful, full of sorrow, here before 1492, arriving today, and me-unwelcome here.



Day 837


The Avenues Mall, December 2015

Most westerners in Kuwait find themselves with much of Christmas week off from work. Often that time is paid. Not so for me. Both Christmas’s were optional days which would eat into my paycheck. My students were often surprised by this. They had both days off and Christmas wasn’t their holiday.

Still, the malls were decked out just like in America. Their sales hit the same days they did in the US, in Spain, in the UK. It’s that rather odd feeling of almost everywhere but in the Arabian desert, that rather odd feeling that everywhere can only exist at once in the Arabian desert. Maybe it is better described as a panto for modern times.